FILM REVIEWS
This is a list of the films that I've reviewed so far, click on the film's title to go to the review page for that film. There will be more reviews to follow, when I've got around to writing them.
There are also some other index pages for specific films categories:
Comedy Films From Being John Malkovich to Clerks.
Science Fiction Films From 2001 to 2010 - AND BEYOND
Fantasy Films From Lord Of The Rings to The Evil Dead
Best Films Some of my favourite films.
One of the most famous science fiction films of all time, with visual effects that have rarely been bettered in the years since its release.
2010 : The Year We Made Contact
Sequel to 2001 and almost as good as the original, this is an excellent and under-appreciated science fiction film.
Bloodthirsty, over-the-top and undeniably entertaining retelling of the Battle of Thermopylae (with added War Rhinos)
A silly and incompetent spy movie, as featured on "Mystery Science Theatre 3000"
A.I. : Artificial Intelligence
Technically impressive but rather tedious robotic fable from Steven Spielberg.
Hilarious and extremely silly comedy about a doomed airliner.
Reasonably amusing sequel, this time in space.
Poor attempt at dramatising the life of Alexander The Great.
Sci-fi action film, one of the best Monster Movies of all time.
The fourth "Alien" film has its moments but overall is a bit of a mess.
Endearingly surreal French comedy about a young woman with an overactive imagination. From the director of Alien : Ressurrection but don't let that put you off.
Entertaining, if slightly over-rated drama about one suburban man's midlife crisis.
An American Werewolf In London
Possibly the best Werewolf movie of all time. Not that there was very much competition.
Low budget "Innerspace" rip-off starring Lance Henriksen.
Possibly the best computer-programmer movie of all time. Not that there was really any competition that wasn't extremely laughable.
Hugely impressive technical achievement with some truly stunning scenes. Shame about the script.
Possibly the best Big Asteroid movie of all time. That doesn't really mean it's any good.
An undeservedly obscure Alien Conspiracy movie from the director of "Pitch Black".
Austin Powers : International Man Of Mystery
Dumb but amusing spy spoof movie about time-travelling and vaguely annoying secret agent Austin Powers.
See Austin Powers 1.
See Austin Powers 2. Except without the "amusing" part.
Gory low-budget horror comedy from the director of "The Lord Of The Rings" as elite New Zealand special forces fight off aliens.
Low budget horror film featuring genetically modified Fruit Bats. They're the ultimate warrior, apparently.
Malkovich malkovich, malkovich malkovich. Malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich's malkovich.
Wesley Snipes fights vampires. That's pretty much the entire plot. A fun action movie.
Wesley Snipes fights super-vampires with the aid of normal vampires. That's pretty much the entire plot. A fun action movie.
Hugely influential science fiction movie about a Bounty Hunter who hunts escaped androids. Co-starring Rutger Hauer.
A comedy about some incompetent students who get lost in the woods. What do you mean it's meant to be a horror movie?
Possibly the best French Historical Drama / Monster Movie / Murder Mystery / Martial Arts Epic of all time.
Terry Gilliam-directed weirdness about a lowly office worker in a dystopian future.
John Travolta naughtily steals some Nuclear Weapons. John Woo-directed action ensues.
Michael J Fox travels back in time to the 1950s and has to somehow get back. To the future.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer (The Movie)
A teenage girl fights vampires. Not as good as the TV series. Co-starring Rutger Hauer.
NASA decides to fake a landing on Mars after messing up the proper mission. Naturally, the astronauts aren't too happy about this.
Lupin III : Castle Of Cagliostro
Entertaining anime about master thief Lupin the Third.
Amusing B-movie about a town threatened by the zombies.
Close Encounters Of The Third Kind
Flying Saucers appear. Hilarious consequences fail to follow.
Ben Affleck choses the wrong person to start a romance with in Kevin Smith's most serious film.
Surreal French film about an evil genius who kidnaps children to steal their dreams.
Bored store works discuss Star Wars and play ice hockey on the roof in Kevin Smith's debut film.
Possibly one of the most absurd blockbusters of all time as a jungle expedition are attacked by killer apes.
Complex science fiction film about a bored corporate spy who is saved by Lucy Liu in a miniature helicopter.
Atmospheric science fiction film about a man with strange powers but no memory.
Low budget disaster movie about a desperate mission to try and stop volcanic eruptions.
Ridiculously bad urban vampire movie.
Undeservedly obscure thriller about a US President who has to deal with Iraqi weapons of mass destruction while stuck in a blizzard.
Highly silly fantasy movie based (loosely) on the popular RPG.
A unique science fiction movie that is probably one of the best films of recent years.
Tedious adaptation of the famous horror novel.
Implausibly plotted Superhero film about a female assasain who misunderstands her job description and protects her targets instead of killing them.
Justly famed martial arts movie starring Bruce Lee.
Effective low budget horror film as Bruce Campbell has to fight off evil spirits.
Extra-terrestrial comedy from the director of Ghostbusters.
From Dusk Till Dawn 2 : Texas Blood Money
Laughably bad vampire movie sequel.
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 : The Hangman's Daughter
Possibly the best Vampire Western of all time. Possibly the only one as well.
Horror about a group of medical students who decide to kill themselves in the name of scientific experimentations. This turns out to not be a good idea.
Epic movie about Russel Crowe's Gladiator and his quest for revenge agains the evil Emperor of Rome.
Coincidentally, sixty seconds is about the amount of time it probably took to write the script for this.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Inexplicably popular children's film about a boy wizard.
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Imperfect but entertaining of classic British Sci-fi Comedy story.
A young man travelling through the desert picks up a psycopathic hitchhiker. Stars Rutger Hauer.
Koren monster movie with a bit of dysfunctional family comedy added in. Better than it sounds from that description.
Comic book adaptation about the not-particularly-Jolly Green Giant.
A classic example of how one major plot twist can ruin a good movie.
Obscure but quite good science fiction film.
Norwegian thriller about a detective who accidentally shoots his partner.
Unique Spanish film about a group of gambler who trade other people's Luck.
Silly but fun movie about jousting.
Well-made thriller about corrupt police officers in 1950s Los Angeles.
Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring
Epic, hugely impressive adaptation of Tolkien's fantasy novel.
A superb sci-fi action movie, even if it's as clever as it thinks it is.
Convoluted thriller about a man with no short term memory.
Glossy blockbuster about a group of criminals stealing from a Las Vegas casino.
Nonsensical blockbuster about a group of criminals stealing from a European museum.
Possibly the best pirate movie of all time.
Surprisingly good monster movie about a group of people stranded on a deadly planet.
Beneath the Planet Of The Apes
Terrible sequel featuring nuke-worshipping mutants.
Glossy but stupid remake of the classic science fiction film.
Low budget sci-fi thriller with a number of different names. Stars Rutger Hauer.
Unexceptional adaptation of Phillip Jose Farmer's science fiction series.
Fast-moving German thriller about a girl who has to run to save her boyfriend's life.
Effective Feature-length TV episode horror about a man with some unusual pets.
Average vampire movie about the star of a vampire movie who happens to be a real vampire.
Highly amusing zombie comedy from the makers of Spaced
Superhero parody about a group of unexceptional superheros.
Blockbuster adaptation of the famous comic book series.
The US military uncover an interstellar transportation device.
Visually spectacular and mostly intellignet Science Fiction about a mission to save the Sun
Poor science fiction film about a medical ship who answer a distress call from a remote colony.
Star Wars Episode 2 : Attack Of The Clones
Dissappointing prequel that is at least better than "The Phantom Menace".
Terminator 3 : Rise Of The Machines
Surprisingly good sequel as the Governor of California travels back in time to avert disaster.
High-concept action movie as Sean Connery has to break in to Alcatraz.
Remake of the classic science fiction story that is let down by a silly last section.
Hollywood's version of The Illiad, which of course they had to re-write because a millennia-old story isn't good enough for them.
Ingenious thriller about a group of double-crossing criminals.
Hollywood remake of inventive Spanish movie "Open Your Eyes".
Atmospheric anime film about an elite group of soldiers.
Reasonable but unambitious superhero film that spends too much time introducing the characters.
Probably the best of the recent batch of superhero blockbusters.
All content ©2003 William Marnoch.
Comments? Agree/Disagree with the Reviews? Suggestions? Random Ramblings? Whatever you might want to say, feel free to e-mail me at william@wmarnoch.freeserve.co.uk .